pink roses

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Is My All On The Altar? Is Yours?

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness.” Matthew 6:33

"God needs those who are ready to lay down their very lives to lead others into true soldiership
 and a true following of the Crucified."  Amy Carmichael

The curtains dance in the wind coming through the screen and from the fan overhead. My baby sister flops over, sound asleep. Like I should be. The covers come off. Here in the dark with the soft breathing of the other girls drowning out the sounds of the road nearby, here is my ‘searching place.’  
Did I act in a way that pleased Jesus today?
Where did I go wrong?
What can I do better tomorrow?
And slowly, the realization comes. I have a pattern of failure. What is it? Where is it coming from? What wrong thinking am I acting on?

Tonight the answer comes back:
“Yes, But what was your attitude?”
Shameful tears come.
“Where is your love for me? Don’t you realize I am watching you? With you?”
I’m listening Lord Jesus.
“I have asked you one thing. Just one. And that is that you seek me with everything you have.
Every thought you have should about Me, connected to Me, and given My approval.
Every desire should be for Me first above all else. You should be hungry for the things I love.
Every activity you do should be with the conscientious knowledge that you are doing it to please me, because I’m right here with you.
Where is your passion and love for Me?
Show it by doing the things I love!”

I pray a lot about this. I cry over this. I check myself against this standard and fail. Miserably.

 To quote my journal:
"The crux of the matter is:
Am I giving all that I have for Jesus Christ and serving Him to the very best of my ability every day? My conscience is cringing with shame, whispering, "Be honest. The answer is 'No!’… matter of fact… you’re not even close. "
But I want to!!!! I want to serve the Lord Jesus wholeheartedly, unabashedly, with every single thing I do all day long every day!
Why don't I do it?
Do I see what I am doing as serving my King?
 If I cannot serve my King while I am doing it, should I be doing it at all? 
Did I start my day by seek Him to receive the right heart attitude? Was I faithful to do my part? 
Do I honestly believe that God cares about every single part of my day, what my attitude was, and how well I did it? 
Is that just my intellect assenting to theology, or do I believe it?  
Am I lazy? Am I just not thinking and doing what I know to be right?"

Can we help each other?
Can we keep each other accountable please?

I have developed a habit. A strange, but I hope God glorifying habit … One that helps me be able to visibly see myself grow and change to be more like Jesus. As God shows me that I need changing, I find the scripture that tells how to cure it, and then come up with a project for each day of the week, or month, or three months, or however long it takes for this to become a habit on this level, ‘til God brings it back around again at the next level.

Let’s sharpen each other and mutually encourage each other to fight and win this one.
I’ll post a project each day for the next week, from Wednesday the 17th to Wednesday the 24th.
I will respond at the end of the day with how I won or lost that day, and you can respond with how your day went.

The passage:
Romans 12 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”[b]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
For the encouragement of everyone, please don’t just think about responding. Do it.
Can we do this together? For the Glory of our King?
See you tomorrow! 

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