pink roses

Tuesday, June 25, 2013


There was a quote in my inbox today from Oswald Chambers, a man whose journal was compiled into the devotional 'My Utmost for His Highest.'
 “I was doing Christian work and winning souls for Christ, but I had no conscious communion with Him. The Bible was the dullest, most uninteresting book in existence. I knew that if what I had was all the Christianity there was, the whole thing was a fraud.”
During a Christian gathering, Oswald Chambers stood up and admitted before the group that he desperately needed a real encounter with God. He had finally stopped fighting, stood still, and realized that all the Christian training, spiritual leadership, and religious activities he was involved in did not equal a living, passionate, power-filled relationship with Jesus. He recognized that he was faking, and his show of Christianity... wasn't as good as the real deal. If there was one. So Mr. Chambers started pursuing something more. He set out to find the real Jesus.
So I sat down to take a good look.
Am I pretending?
Am I a "Hi how are you? Fine how are you?" talking the talk on Sunday Christian?
Am I just playing at being a Christian, and wanting the appearance, but not the real thing?
Am I just floating along with the flow of family and expediencies and friends and just doing what is expected of me without actually fighting for my own, real relationship with Jesus?

Am I satisfied to "live a good life" be a "good girl" and make better choices than those around me?
Do I want/need something more?

Do I have a passionate relationship with Jesus?
How do I get one?
Do I even want one?

Am I pursuing my relationship with Jesus the way I should?
How bad do I want one? Is God testing me to see if I really want this?
Am I content to stop where I am and say "I can't have a better relationship with God than this... and anybody who looks like they do is obviously putting on a show, or is an exception."

Why am I stopping pursuing and seeking Him?

Is there a relationship, hobby/spare time filler, thought pattern, object, something I want to do, an interest, or a job opportunity that I'm not willing to give up?

Is there something I don't want to do? An attitude I don't want to change, a place I don't want to go, someone I don't want to speak to, or fear of what someone will think that is keeping me back?

Do I trust Him enough to look out for and take care of 'me' if I turn and focus on serving Him and others?

Do I know what Christianity looks like? Have I bought the wrong brand? Am I working and re-arranging situations, setting up 'coincidences', and manipulating appearances to make me look like I am 'as wise, mature, and godly as So n' So.'

Am I following after, struggling toward, or imitating a person, not the Lord Jesus?

Am I looking to God and to His Word to:
Fix my problems
Satisfy my longings for a heart to heart friendship
Always be there for me
Advise me
Teach me
Tell me when I'm wrong
Protect me
Keep me from worrying
Give me everything that I need
Justify me
and more?

 Am I comfortable with the fact that I have problems,  but don't think God can give me victory over my problems?
 Is God big enough and strong enough for my problems, or only the problems of others?

Subconsciously, have I been thinking that I don't have much sin?
That the sin I do have isn't that bad?
Am I allowing sin to grow and infiltrate and take over?
Am I treating my sin like sin?

Have I climbed back on the throne of my life, and made my wants and desires ruler over me instead of God's righteousness?

Have I figured out my own set of rules that make being a christian uncomplicated, easy, and 'do-able' without God?

Does my Christianity match up with Jesus's [since He came to show us how to 'do it right' and make it possible]?

Where have I gone wrong?

Are you asking these questions with me? Of yourself, not those around you?
Grab a journal or a scrap piece of paper and put in writing what God wants you to change.
Take it to Him in prayer.
Struggle and wrestle over it with Him, if You haven't given in to His plans yet, but give those areas to Him. [Experience speaking : Its easier to give it now than to wait!]
Ask God to show you want He wants you to STOP doing,
and what He wants you to START doing  in those areas.
Make a commitment to do it till it becomes habit.
This is a promise to GOD.
Don't take it lightly.
God won't.
Write it in your journal... and personally... its easier to actually do, not just plan to do, if you sit down and brain storm a list of how you could do it... this afternoon... and how it could fit in tomorrows schedule... and how you could do it in a week or so when you're getting better at it... and what it'll probably look like when you are good at it. That way you have an idea of where you are going.
Final job: Find someone to hold you accountable AND/you don't see this word [or] take a bunch of sticky notes or 3x5's and write reminders and hide them in your dresser, and shoes, and favorite books, and pencil drawer, and anywhere you'll run into them often, to remind you throughout the day.

God wants you to do this.

He loves His children.

He's waiting to bless you

He wants to show Himself to you

He just asks that you prove that you want Him.

Are you willing?

Me too.
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