"Somewhere it is written that "A mother is only a woman, but she needs the love of Jacob, the patience of Job, the wisdom of Moses, the foresight of Joseph, and the firmness of Daniel." But a mother not only has to have all these things, she must have them all at once, often when she is quite young and too often when she has had not previous training of any kind for the marvelously varied duties she has to perform. Before she marries, a young lady does not imagine herself facing the difficulties of managing the complicated working of a household. Untried responsibilities come upon her as soon as she does marry. And, perhaps, just as she is grasping the situation, her first child is born. Then, not only her own health but that of another's depends on how she manages her life. Another child is born, and another. Her attention is given up to the various aspects of maintaining a happy, well-managed home. There are holiday celebrations to arrange, extended family parties and visits, church functions, occasions for neighborly hospitality, etc. In the center of it all is one little woman---wife, mother, mistress all in one! Is it a wonder she feels overspent in her efforts to be dietitian, laundress, nurse, hostess, teacher, taxi driver, wife, mother and mistress?"(from A Wise Woman Builds her Home)
In our American culture there comes a time in a girl's life when she sits down and thinks:
I've been to college.
I'm over 23.
I hold a steady job.
I've lived my dreams.
I've lived my dreams.
I'm ready to be married!
Or am I?
Am I prepared for Wife and Motherhood?How do I respond to diaper blow-outs, a burnt dinner, or a cranky brother or father? Am I patient? Kind? Self-controlled? What do I do when I am offended? Mad? Had a bad day? When I've been yelled at? Accused? When I've done wrong? Said the wrong thing? When someone doesn't agree with me? Or I don't get my way?
Can I keep my relationships with others healthy when I am busy? Tired? Hurting? Sick? Long distance? When we run out of things to talk about? Do I listen to and care about only myself? Am I a hot-and-cold, Love you today, hate you tomorrow friend? How many friends do I still have from my childhood, and what kinds of friendships are they? What kinds of people do I seek friendships with now? Have I forgiven and dealt with the hurts of the past so they will not hurt the relationships in my future?
Do I know what to do with a baby who won't stop crying? (I can't help answering this one :) think: hungry, dirty diaper, needs burping, is teething) Can I occupy a child productively for hours, and yet get my work done? Can I teach a child so they will understand? Am I willing to allow(and enjoy) having a child to help me do EVERYTHING (make the beds together, brush our teeth together, cook together, clean together, shop together, nap together, talk with my friends together, be shadowed everywhere I go, and answer the question "Why mommy?" a million times per project)
Do I know how to run a household? Can I throw out the germ-a-phobe in me and clean the base of a toilet and scrub mold off a shower ceiling?Can I plan a balanced meal? Can I serve two people three hearty meals a day on $45 per week for groceries? Do I know how to use coupons? Do I know how much tax is? Can I compute which bulk items, half off prices, or two for one items are more expensive than their regular, shelf price partner?
Can I cook simple things like spaghetti, clumsy things like thanksgiving turkey and delicate things like angel food cake? Can I get a whole meal with all the different dishes all hot and ready to serve at the same time?(I mean without burning something, or reheating something ... and not in two hours either!)
Do I know how to remove grass and blood and tomato and ink from the family laundry?
Am I ready to be a wife and mother?
No.
Is anyone ever ready?
No.
Can I start getting ready now so it won't be so hard later?
Yes!
The answer is yes!
Yes! I can start as a daughter or sister to practice showing love,
kissing owies,
and giving up what I want to do to help someone else!
I can scrub down the fridge for my mom!
I can rub my Daddy's feet after a long day at work!
I can learn these things and practice them now!
And I'm excited about it!
Who will join me?
Dear Bethmarie,
ReplyDeleteThis post enumerates the very things that I have worried about regarding my fitness for marriage and motherhood. Managing the household, my own character failings, the wisdom desperately needed as both a wife and a mother...thank you for the reminder that though we'll never be perfectly ready, we can practice now, in the Lord's strength. I have found so much comfort in the fact that God will supply my needs of patience, wisdom, love, energy, forgiveness, and grace then as He does now, as long as my eyes are on Him.
I will join you -- in the Lord's ability alone -- in faithfully preparing my heart and life to be used by God as helpmeet and homemaker in His timing and for His glory. Thank you for your example, Bethmarie!
In His service,
Emily